I'll see your pill and raise you a briss

We have a spam filter at work that’s great at identifying messages touting ends to erectile dysfunction and giving promises of ravishing a] Russian brides or b] young Asians. Rather than deleting these generous offers, however, it simply labels them as such, and leaves them in my inbox.

There’s evidently a strange calculus to determining whether or not something’s spam, and as in life and 4-H fairs, point values are assigned. Some of the things that added up to doom today’s message to the spam pile:

1.8 SUBJECT_DRUG_GAP_VIA Subject contains a gappy version of 'viagra'
1.0 SUB_CONT_VIAGRA Subject contains munged viagra
1.9 SUBJECT_DRUG_GAP_C Subject contains a gappy version of 'cialis'

“A gappy version of viagra” - That’s got a nice ring to it, but is somehow worth a tenth of a point less than "a gappy version of cialis." No, I don't know what levitra gets you, John.

As always with these mesages, though, my favorite part is the imagined sender that their million monkeys on a million typewriters have come up with. This time?

From: "Menorahs G. Showboats” -- the middle initial was the giveaway.

Love me some of that gambling Judaism...