this is from about a year ago. it seems this is about now, too.

just about everyone dear to me these days is in some kind of a state of flux, settling in or feeling increasingly unsettled, with work, with living situations, with love, with money, with the things they'd rather be doing. this morning, it set me to thinking about this passage in amis' first novel, lucky jim, which is fantastic and should be read now instead of this, thank you very much.

"another thing you'll find is that the years of illusion aren't those of adolescence, as the grown-ups try to tell us; they're the ones immediately after it, say the middle twenties; the false maturity, if you like, when you first get thoroughly embroiled in things and lose your head."

there. and that this book is older than me and that these things haven't changed at all is both comforting and frustrating. it's one of the more important, if easier to forget, things about having people in your life. they exist as both a reminder that we're more or less all in this together, though in our own way, whether 20s or 30s, and that maybe that unsettled feeling - just before you're finally comfortable, or just when you're on the verge of something big and scary - maybe that unsettled feeling is worth having. and should be appreciated for what it is. sometimes you have to lose your head to find where you'd rather it be in the first place.

cue that modest mouse 'float on' song.